Couples Counseling
I offer couples counseling that helps you stay focused on your relationship goals even during disagreements that can threaten to derail them. The desire to feel understood and connected is fundamental to human nature, though what that looks and feels like for each of us can vary. The ability to navigate your differences with skills and empathy is essential to building genuine intimacy and strengthening your bond.
One of the biggest challenges in relationships is staying grounded and being your best self when triggered. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of misinterpreting your partners behavior and then reacting in ways that don’t serve your connection.
I will guide you in staying focused on your relationship goals, even when emotions run high, and help you work through your differences in a way that supports, rather than undermines, your partnership.
Individual Counseling
I offer individual counseling designed to help you cultivate the practice of consistently “having your own back” - taking the utmost care of yourself at all times, in all matters, and giving yourself the love and grace you often reserve for others.
Many of us believe that external achievements - like finding the right partner, having children, securing the right career, and/or attaining wealth will bring fulfillment. Yet, we’ve seen countless public figures who seemingly “have it all” and are still unhappy.
The truth is, there is nothing more essential than the relationship you have with yourself. I will guide you in cultivating this relationship, from which everything else flows.
What I Provide
My work with couples and individuals is:
To help you answer the question: if therapy was worth your time, money, and energy, how would your life and/or relationship be different than it is now?
To help you align your communication style with your communication goals (which are often at cross-purposes).
To help guide you from complaints toward negotiating your wants and needs.
To provide a safe and nurturing environment in which you can learn what it looks and feels like to consistently “have your own back,” which, perhaps surprisingly, is what supports you most in being relational.
To help you identify the difference between what is real and what is an interpretation, so that you have space to better understand what is really going on with another person.
To be able to communicate hurt and anger without making the other person wrong. This is a high-level skill because when we are hurt, it can feel like the other person is intentionally doing something to make us feel this way. With most disagreements, this is not the case; rather, the other person is engaging in some form of misguided self-protection (e.g., avoidance, retaliation).
To provide tools for understanding the difference between relationship work and individual work. It’s normal to focus on what our partner needs to change and/or assume that all hurts are due to our current relationship issues. Being able to identify and take responsibility for our own work is another high-level skill in resolving disagreements.
To ultimately be obsolete, whereby you are eventually able to simultaneously take care of yourself and be relational and thereby navigate disagreements effectively - without my help.